May

I like May.

Before that, I sort of have to explain the kids' ages but from early May on I can simply say they're six, four, and one. One! Gosh. But Sophie is still such a baby! All chubby and soft and gurgly. But she can wave and say bye-bye, goes "Mmah!" when she wants a bottle, and claps her hands when you say "Good girl!". She cruises and stands by herself sometimes. She has also mastered opening all sorts of screw-top containers - including her milk bottle (slosh). One of her favourite activities is conducting a rendition of "Twinkle Twinkle Little Stars". She opens and closes a pudgy little hand at any one of us, and that one will sing a line. She does this going from person to person and has got us all well-trained to her cues, including big brother and sister! They're such sweeties to oblige.

Oh and May is also the month of Mary, flowers, spring/summer (my colours), public holidays...

I hope I won't change my mind about May next year. It's traditionally exam month and the 6-year-old will be in Primary 1 then. Or don't they have mid-year exams in P1 anymore? I've heard this depends on the school. We're still mulling over where to put Matt. Besides following in his Dad's footsteps, there are a few boys' schools nearer our place, and the option of homeschooling. We'll have to decide in July. And January will come around in no time. Oh dear. I don't think I'm ready to have him go to primary school at all! I can't wake up that early in the mornings!!

Positive.

I have resolved to say only good things. If I have nothing good to say, then I will say nothing. This is a piece of advice from someone I seriously RESPECT. I have been trying to follow it since last night, and amazingly, I actually feel better about myself already. I will not gripe even to my husband, who has been my sounding board all these YEARS. Don't know how he can stand it.

Truly. Being positive feels a lot more useful. It doesn't mean I can't think critically or come to a conclusion about something or someone that is less than glowing. But there's a great deal of sense in the adage "least said soonest mended". Granted some things need to be openly discussed in a civilised way to resolve problems. But griping and whining and bitching (oh they come all so easily to me) honestly don't get anything anywhere.

Positive. Constructive. Succint. Succint because we've been reading Mr. Chatterbox with the kids and it occured to me that I really blather on too much and annoy people no end, except they're too nice to tell me so directly. I don't have a magic hat to shut me up so I'm going to have to just zip it myself.

Just like that

The first time I attempted to ride a bicycle without training wheels was when I was around 7 or 8 years old. It was outside my house, along a narrow two lane road. I got the push off from a neighbour, and was getting quite confident until I realized that I was fast approaching a parked van and hadn’t the faintest idea how to steer. The resulting meeting of metal had me avoiding going anywhere near bikes, and it wasn’t until I was in Secondary 2 that I finally gathered enough courage to try again. Not a great model to emulate, then.

From the moment we got Matt a bike last September, I had been wondering how he would handle the transition from four wheels to two. We tried removing the training wheels in the first few days, but at that time his legs were not strong enough to pedal quickly enough to maintain his balance. The other big issue of course was confidence. Even with the seat at its lowest, Matt could only have both feet on the ground tip-toeing. And without the assurance of being able to stop at anytime without falling over, he naturally never got round to placing his feet on the pedals. We stuck the trainers back on.

Fast forward to March 2007. Sarah had been hitching rides with Matt and occasionally attempted to use his bicycle, so we decided to get her one as well, only with a smaller frame. Funny thing is, this benefitted Matt most. Last Tuesday I took away the training wheels (much to Sarah’s dismay) and gave him the initial supporting balance. Within a few steps I realized I could let go, and he just carried on. And after getting a few tips on starting off, he was cycling all by himself! The look of utter astonishment on our faces was matched only by the glee on his.

The next couple of days he wanted more (and Sarah wanted her birthday present back), so we put him on his own bike. He carried on, as if he had been doing it for ages. We cycled around the estate, exploring like he never could previously. And on Saturday I took him to Punggol Park, where we covered two rounds of the track, which is plenty for a not-yet-six year old. He was exhausted for sure, but never wanted to stop. He had discovered a sense of freedom unimaginable just a week before. And I saw my little boy grow up yet another notch.

Booked for Ballet

I'm terribly excited. For years I've been wanting to do ballet. Things suddenly came together today!

First I get a private message from a mommy on a local mother's forum telling me about a kids' ballet class suitable for Sarah. Quick consultation with S via sms, and I register her together with payment immediately! And this is at a public community club.

Then I get inspired and do a google search on Singapore ballet and it throws up a beginners' class at the Y. Some phone calls and an email from the person in charge (oh yes and a consultation of some members at said mother's forum), and I'm going to mail the form, photo and cheque tomorrow!

All this without having to stir from my seat. OK I had to take a walk to the printer and back but isn't it absolutely marvellous what levels communication technologies have reached today?

I love it!

Shopped out

Phew. We were supposed to have taken leave to chill! But Tuesday we went and got another bicycle, for Sarah. Wednesday I got me a pair of GAP jeans - kids sized at a factory outlet for less than 15% the price of a very similar looking pair of Levis! Haha. Yesterday was the clincher. S and I got a pile of basics at U2, I got a long skirt at Fox, and, we got an HP colour laser printer and Sony laptop at the IT show! Gulp. No more shopping for the rest of this year, I think. These will all have to count towards our birthday and Christmas presents. Just as well - gift giving to each other is such a left-pocket-right-pocket exercise for us, it's becoming nothing more than an excuse to splurge.

The printer's home but we're waiting for the laptop to be delivered today. I can't wait! We'll finally be able to print our own pictures and I can make personalised cards etc. Matt's already asking us to print Gundam pictures for him to colour, and naming us all the games he's expecting S to install. Some of these he played briefly on S's laptop long ago, but for want of space they got uninstalled to make way for other new games. I'd totally forgotten about them myself! Oh boy. Definitely going to password protect the thing.

I got Paper C.

Fasting

It's Lent. We accompany Jesus on His 40-day sojourn in the desert preparing for His public ministry.

Last night, when I was tucking Matt into bed with the lights already off, he whispered to me, "Mommy, I'm fasting Thursday Colin McRae".

"Really?!"

"Really."

I was awestruck. Matt normally plays his favourite computer game every Tuesday and Thursday, clamouring for it the moment we get home from work. But this was not the only thing - earlier on he had told me he would give up watching Scooby Doo on Sunday mornings.

Later on Sean told me he had explained to Matt about prayer, fasting and alms giving. I thought Sean had suggested what Matt could offer up for Lent, but apparently he came up with them all by himself.

Sean then told him, "Matt, you realise that Lent is not just this week, it's six weeks all the way to Easter?"

"You mean Easter eggs?"

"Er... yes."

"Then when Easter comes, I can un-fast all the things I like?"

Take you down to Chinatown!

We actually went with the kids, all 3 of them, to Chinatown on Saturday night! Gosh it was crowded, and loud, and really exciting! We got out of the MRT at People's Park side, and were immediately engulfed by the rowdy sights and sounds as we came off the top of the escalators. We passed by stalls exploding with magnificent displays of fake flowers, a man painting calligraphy backwards on the floor, vats of all kinds and textures of nuts and tidbits, another man playing a sort of modern lively pipa accompanying a woman singing cantonese opera - all before we finally crossed the overhead bridge and plunged right into the heart of Chinatown. That stretch was packed! At one point we escaped into the oasis of a gallery right in the middle of the chaos. The simple clean lines of solid Chinese furniture, in their subdued neutrals and exquisitely finished smooth dark woods, were blissfully soothing after all the crazy flashing golds and reds and noisy everything people in your face experience outside in the street! Matthew loved the massive lion dance head hanging outside one of the shops where we did most of our shopping. We got the kids a little string puppet lion - it moves very like the real thing in a lion dance! I'm very pleased with our purchases. We didn't get all that much, mostly nice things for the house, and some trinkets here and there. The selection of merchandise was staggering! There were all sorts of cute strange things, like little mini Chinese jackets or cheongsams for your softdrink PET bottles! The whole place was fantastic. It seemed like we could hardly moved for the mountains of people, but little by little everyone made a slow wave of it all amidst the riotous stalls and stands, overhung with all kinds of fantastic things you can buy. When we had spent one and a half hours seeing and shopping and soaking up the heady atmosphere, and were finally ready to head home, we found we hadn't gotten beyond 50 metres into the busiest stretch! It was a blast.

ps Thanks, J, for the recommendation! We'd normally not have gone otherwise, crowd averse as we are, but this was one experience well worth the train rides there and back - which the kids also enjoyed.

Feliz Cumpleañoz!

The little sweeties at home gave me extra hugs and greetings when we got up this morning.

On the way in the car, Sarah asked me, "How old are you, Mommy?"

"Can you guess?"

"Erm, five?"

"No!"

Matt ventured, "Are you 35?"

"I'm not that old! Guess again."

Sean said, "It's one less."

I added, "Ya, what is one less than 35, Matt?"

Matt shouted, "I know, I know, it's 34!"

"That's right! I'm 34 years old."

Then Sarah asked, "What is your birthday, Mommy?"

"2nd of February."

"No, it's 34!!" she replied.

"No Sarah, it's not 'what is your birthday', it's 'how old are you'."

"I'm three years old."

骗我!

The end (see previous post) must have been a mirage. It's drifted out of sight today!

Sophie was a very enthusiastic nurser over the weekend and supply actually went up slightly. Argh!!! Feel very torn!!

Can't wait to end all the pumping hassle already. The logistical manouevrings involved sometimes equal a full military campaign in terms of strategical complexity.

But I also can't accept the idea of actually paying for milk if I still have it on tap, ready for free. Plus it's better quality. Who in their right minds would trade a free and perfect product for an expensive, inferior one??

The end is in sight

Sophie's 8.5 months now.

True to form, nearing the 9mth stage, my supply is very slowly but clearly dipping. And recently she's wanting more than her usual 120ml per bottle feed.

Can't wait for supply to dip to less than one full feed per session - I'll feel peaceful about stopping pumping completely then, knowing it all happened naturally. But she'll continue nursing upon waking up and at bedtime.

Amazingly we've come all this way without having to open the tin of formula that's still sitting there. Despite all my worries and setbacks and occasional challenges like having to go for seminars and external meetings.

Guess it's the end of the first significant phase of her life.

Next!

"Isn't she the cutest baby in the world?"

Every day I say this to S about 3 or 4 times.

When Matthew was a baby, I asked my friends (at a party) if they didn't think he was the cutest baby in the world. No, really, objectively, didn't they think so? I'm not saying this as a proud parent but wasn't he evidently the cutest baby on earth?

My friends kind of looked at each other and then said well, there are cute babies and not-so-cute babies, and Matthew was definitely a cute one, but there's no such thing as the cutest baby in the world. I raised my eyebrows at this, but decided not to push the issue since they were all obviously hopeless.

Then Sarah was born and when she got to be about six months old or so, I thought SHE was the cutest baby in the world, even cuter than Matthew.

Today, I think that Sophie is way cuter than Sarah and Matthew ever were, even at the very epitome of their cuteness.

But all of this is not my fault. It's been scientifically proven (we saw this in a TV documentary) that when you're in love, the feel good receptors fire away, plus, the analytical/judgemental regions actually get suppressed! How cool is that?

So this is the only logical conclusion my brain is capable of arriving at, and it's got to be the only conceivable one, because how on EARTH can ANYONE possibly NOT think that she's the cutest baby in the world???

8-minute meal

Sophie usually finishes her bowl of food in eight minutes flat. She loves it! We give her rice porridge or multi-grain cereal, mixed with a variety of ingredients selected from the group comprising chicken, fish, pumpkin, carrots, spinach, sweet potatoes. She always eats strapped down in a seat, either her bouncy chair or stroller. Besides her lunch and dinner she also has milk four times a day. Getting nice and plump.

The little darling is often to be found standing in her cot holding on to the rails, calling out after her nap. We've stopped rocking her to sleep at nap times since she's been able to go to bed on her own for months now, just laid down in her cot after nursing, with the lights out. I decided to end the rocking because last Sunday our helper was out and it was no fun at all doing it while I was reeling with influenza. We now just lay her sideways and hold her down until she falls asleep. Such a tractable little baby - she only protested the first two times and now goes down without a fuss.

She also crawls! We laid down a large rubber mat in the living room, and she crawls around on it to get to her toys and sits there absorbedly mouthing them when she succeeds. She especially likes to make her way over to the sofa to pull up and stand.

Sophie's big brother and sister love her to bits. They pull faces to make her laugh, and are always trying to kiss her and carry her. Matt sets the tone for this - Sarah copies him in everything so we've been spared rivalries and jealousies with the baby. I was very worried about this for Sarah at first, since she's been the baby for the last 3 years, but she has risen way beyond my expectations.

The Right Conclusion

While browsing a grocery store after lunch one day at Port Dickson, Sarah picked up a plasticky doll set and asked her Daddy to buy it for her. He said no. Then she turned to her Grandma, who also said no. Finally she came to me and pleaded, "Mommy, can you buy this for me?"

"No, Sarah, I'm not going to buy that."

The little girl went, "Huh? Nobody is going to buy this for me??"

Her grandma said, "You have come to the right conclusion."

What's your watery favourite?

While we were holidaying by the seaside at Port Dickson, Matthew told us that his favourite sea creatures were sharks.

S said his were killer whales.

I told Matt that I liked dolphins best.

We turned to Sarah and asked her what she liked most in the water.

Sarah replied, "I like Little Mermaid."

Sweet Child Of Mine

Rains have washed the haze away. The school year is drawing to a close. And it is only now that we realize what a sacrifice Matthew has been making ever since Sarah joined him at kindy. He confided to us last night that he actually prefers it when she doesn’t go (she’d stayed home sick recently), because then he gets to play with his friends during recess. Otherwise, she always wants him to sit by her. And he has been patiently complying all this time! I’m so proud of him, although my heart sort of broke to learn how he had been giving up his own fun just to accompany his little sister. Funny how much love and care they lavish on each other in school when they certainly get into tussles enough at home.

And when it comes to Sophie, oh boy. Matt’s voice goes all high-pitched and sugary sweet whenever he talks to her. “Sophie, you like kor-kor right? You like kor-kor? Chya! Chya! You’re a happy baby, right?” And he’ll squeeze the squeaky cow for her, snuggle his face in her tummy, hug her, kiss her, while Sophie chuckles and kicks and bangs her fists about.

I'd really better remember all these about Matthew whenever I feel inclined to come down on him like a ton of bricks for his minor misdemeanors. First kids have it so hard, sometimes. It also doesn’t help that he’s a boy and somehow boys just don’t get to get away with nearly as much as sweetsy little girls. I'd better remember all this.

Timber!

It's been nearly six months. She's started cereal. I'm still giving her "chance" - if she doesn't sleep through the night by 7 months I might consider doing something about it.

I've had some crashing news. Someone close to me has just found out she is seriously ill. The shocking thing is how far advanced it is and she's had no clue all this time. We're all praying and hoping for the best. She's young, and strong, so with God's grace everything will be all right. Please pray.

Paper C was really quite evil. I won't be surprised if I don't make it (again - what a bore). But we won't know until next April. In the meantime everything's hazy, in every sense of the word. I really miss our outdoor activities with the kids. No beach, no parks, no running, jumping, climbing... it's really too bad. I don't see why we can readily write off $1... billion... dollars... (here's where we bring the little finger up against the side of the mouth) in bad Shincorp shares, and why we can't just as readily pay $1... billion... dollars... (little finger again) to buy nifty little aeroplanes that scoop water from lakes and seas to put out forest fires. I think $1... billion... dollars... (ok you get the idea) can buy quite many aeroplanes. The Indonesian forests can't possibly put up a fight against such superior fire power.

Or I could just wash the car more often. That the ultimate raindance, if ever there was one.

Help us, God! We need all the showers (of blessings) we can possibly get here.

Roll To Me

OK Sophie has taken the rolling thing beyond cute. She actually wakes up at 1am to practice. Every night. From quietly sleeping on her tummy, she'll make like a stranded beetle and wail until I settle her back onto her tummy again. She's supposed to be able to do it herself, but the cot is not infinitely wide and she can only roll one way, so when she ends up against the side, she's as good as stuck.

It's really ironic how anxious we all were to have Matt hit his milestones as early as possible, and now here I am, wearily plodding along behind Sophie as she zooms ahead.

Other news:
- my 3rd attempt at paper C coming up in 2 weeks' time.
- Matt and Sarah swap seats in the car so that each gets time up front between the parents. It's rather quieter this week since Matt's behind now and doesn't natter away nearly as much as when he's right beside us. Sarah and I have a little love thing going on where she strokes my face and I cuddle her back. I'm so glad we decided to swap. Poor girl has been getting neglected sitting all alone behind, on our way to school and work in the mornings. Thumbs up for the 3-in-a-row front seating configuration in the Honda Edix!

SG: SK II?

It recently struck me that Singapore is getting rather like South Korea. High level of industrialisation, government-driven R&D, intense materialism, more plastic surgeries, lowest-common-denominator public entertainment... the similarities scream out. But South Korea also has snowy mountains and public protests, spiffy national costumes and Kimchi. What do we have? Mee Siam?

Anyway, the kids are off to school again. We enjoyed ourselves at the Bird Park last week, during their holidays. Matt and Sarah had a blast feeding bloody fish to the pelicans. Sophie was the best behaved of the lot, sitting/sleeping happily in her stroller all the while, except when it was time for her morning tea and lunch. She's four and one-third months old already, and very keen to roll over onto her tummy, beaming everytime.

Production Package

Chattering and slamming,
Overall donning,
Teeming women
Throng the locker area.

Another bus pulls up
Outside, another load
Spills into the plant
Yet more assembly-liners.

Darkness embraces the
Light-flooded lot all round.
Strange shadows cast no fear
In the hearts of these earners.

Production pays, and
Night is no barrier to
Industry which must go on,
Sucking them into its endless wake.