I frequent a fun and lively mother's forum, where people also write in with their problems. This particular thread was started by a woman who is pregnant with the baby of a man she took up with during a period of separation from her husband. She is also now seeking to be reconciled with her husband (who had cheated on her), and has made an appointment for an abortion although she is distraught at the thought of it.
I'm fighting tooth and nail against the replies telling her that she doesn't have much of a choice if she hopes to make up with her husband. People are saying that adoption is going to be difficult, that she won't be able to keep her affair and pregnancy a secret therefore, etc. etc., and somebody actually said that she knows what she must do except it's going to be hard, and that we will be there to hear her pour out her sorrows.
I wanted to throw a rock at my computer screen when I read that. I wonder if the poster was the devil surfaced from hell (posted under Guest), given that glib, apparently sympathetic but actually totally heartless reply completely designed to deceive her into making the greatest mistake of her life.
This issue has been discussed for a couple of days now, and I've many times exhorted the woman (anonymous poster) to consider adoption, and to seek help from ALife and Family Life Society's Pregnancy Crisis Centre. It is also greatly heartening to see other forum users speaking up and urging her to keep the baby.
My heart is sick at the thought of what this woman is going through, and the knowledge that in 4 days' time she may really go through with the killing of her baby.
3 comments:
It saddens me that online posters should immediately come to the conclusion that the man must demand abortion in return for saving the marriage.
So let's not make the same mistake. How much do we understand about the situation? You obviously side with the woman, but how well did she convey her own taboos and inclinations? Did she come across online as looking to validate her conclusions or was she genuinely looking for advice?
And if the man was a hardball as the online posters make it out to me, can the online posters advocate playing hardball too? If they are sexist, they wouldn't.
Hi Anders, all we know is that the woman herself thinks she has no choice but abortion, yet she's feeling torn because she wants to keep the baby.
I'm not sure I get your question about playing hardball...
By hardball, I mean they think the man will make the following ultimatum: "abortion or divorce". It is possible, I think, for the woman to make something similar.
Once you make threats like that, the marriage is broken. What exactly what the online posters are presuming.
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