La Dolce Vita

For a while there I didn't think I could ever be happy again. Which was a sad reflection on the state of my faith of course. But it's amazing what time (and God) can do. I can truly smile again and just enjoy every day we are blessed with, especially this unexpectedly and wonderfully relaxing and refreshing exam period. And I mean my own exams which will (unfortunately) be done by 8pm tonight.

Because I'm officially supposed to be studying, there's no pressure to "spend time with the kids!!" like when I'm on annual leave. I drift in and out of my room as I please, feeding Rachel when it's time, picking up the girls from their school bus drop-off if I feel like it (which I do), and generally having absolutely no "mommy" stress. Study for exam? Oh, ya, that. Sure, I study, and I get butterflies before the papers, but that's like a grain of sand compared to the hopper-load when it comes to general parenting, and the ten tons that fell on us when Rachel was diagnosed.

For now, very thankfully, our curly-headed little 5+month-old is developing like any other (normal) baby. She's a pro at rolling over and over (to the left, to the left), brings everything to mouth including her toes, loves standing and jumping on her sturdy little café au lait spotted legs, with support of course. She's still nursing, but also walloping cereal, and coos and smiles and chuckles. We have all grown used to her unusual appearance with the enlarged right eye part and brown-patchy right side of her face, and the glaucoma treatment is currently merely a matter of eye drops morning and bedtime.

Deep sigh. Not one of resignation, but contentment. Life is so short and full of sorrow, but even fuller of joy and peace. As the Hokkien saying goes, "Want to cry, want to laugh, the sow accidentally pees."